Return to Sender.

I am getting older and frankly my dears….. > I just want to be a woman. < Freedom to express my emotions when ever the desire presents itself. Freedom to nurture all whom will have me. Freedom to paint my personality on canvases for all to explore its sometimes hidden messages. Most of all… The freedom to share every piece of love dwelling in crevasses of my heart that only surgery could expose. Now… all I need is the King to give it to right? <Sounds so simple. Who doesn’t want a young woman who is capable of running a household, hard-working/economically efficient, a cook, and a goof when necessary? Please note: I’m only listing these things because I love myself and as cliché as it may sound… I know my worth.   I have had my share of relationships in which I received parts of the qualities I desire in a man but for the most; these "qualities" happen to be non-existent swindles and were only good for a few weeks or in such instances of convenience including: 1. the plot to “take me down” or 2. the pursuit of personal  loans and homecooked meals… hey… it’s a recession right? 

So…….. Here I am filled with warm yummy greatness ready to unload a type of paradise onto an actual man and yet, he is no where to be found. Funny because the man I believe I deserve is chasing after a skank girl who has never deserved him. Or maybe… Just maybe, he’s single and madness-free; and maybe even at this very moment, he is out for a long drive. Meditating. Humbly praying for guidance, knowledge, and patience. Then I’m sure he’s listening to “stolen moments”… perhaps the smiths or even boards of canada because the only voice he wants to listen for is mine. He knows I exist and is anxious about dissecting this crazy little world of mine. yep... More than anything he wants to know me inside out. and when he meets me, he vows to take the time to get to know me. studying me like a cure for cancer, I am a major part of what he lives for. He calls back; you know... just because; for no reason; every reason and all day. We speak in substance or at times as if we were 9 and 10 again…  he always misses me. He; spoiled rotten by me… Saturday morning cartoons, bad breath and all… he loves it when I whisper in his ear using my softest sexiest voice “let me make you some breakfast baby.”  He; well taken care of continues to adore me. When we fight, I am not left feeling unloved, unwanted. He will master the art of making up with me and forgives me when I’m out of line… We float together under starry skies, laugh at each other during karaoke, and he will be the one to hold my hair if I had just a lilllllllll too much wine ;) He will admire the fact that I will watch every game with him even though I have not one clue as to what’s going on lol… and he will teach me. He will be a great teacher. most importantly.... In his house.... our house.... we will be servants of God and he will not have it any other way. We will grow old in a love forever young.

One Day.