Spring Cleaning...
Two years ago yesterday was the last time I posted my thoughts
upon this site. Two years ago yesterday I had no perspicacity as to my own deepest affairs. Today, I am completely stripped of the ideas, opinions,
shoulders, and goals I previously had. Two years ago is a considerable amount
of time and I have taken ONE very important step. A step away from hate. I
hated myself and I did not know it until today. Two years ago I covered my hate
in pretty colors, secular goals, and hidden addictions. Two years ago I said I
was ready. Two years ago I thought I knew who I was… Two years ago I lied. Two
years ago I still had my dad, an apartment, and a unhealthy appetite for affection.
Today, I have nothing but Jehovah and bittersweet solitude. Today because of the past two years, I am not afraid to take responsibility
for every action, reaction, or revolt. Today I do not fear change. I will not fear difference.
I will have but one fear, one hope, and one goal. Today I desire balance, love,
and righteousness. My desire for a simple life has been simply unfolding affront
just as the rest of you who are growing in this "time of the harvest." For those of you who have
love etch into the linings of your heart; you have/will forgive my errors, welcome me upon my return, and desire my happiness just as I do for you... As for the rest of yous... I
guess you will just have to learn that life stops for none until death and Jah willing, I have many years to go so I can't give up.
"Knock, And He'll open the door
Vanish and He'll make you shine like the sun
Fall, And He'll raise you to the heavens
Become nothing, And He'll turn you into everything."-Rumi
3 comments:
Beautiful
I learned a new word today "perspicacity". Thank you Teeee...Looking forward to still being a friend in your life's new chapter.
I can relate to this reflection. The only difference being that it has been four years. I lost my mother to cancer a few years ago and I was laid off from my dream job. A year previous to my mothers passing I had also lost my grandmother to that great transition we must all go through. In the aftermath, I felt all that was left of me was a dry empty corn husk. However, I was momentarily and innocently ignorant to the fact that super delicious tamales are made from corn husks. On a more serious breath of air, I love the Rumi quote that you applied at the end of your reflection. Perfect and true to down the empty dry corn husk.
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